The Cra Cra Train

You can say it is like we are all on a train and we are headed toward a total train wreck because both the train and tracks are old and faulty.
 
Clinton wants to lay fresh new tracks as Obama has been doing and let the broken train keep on, keepin’ on and thinks fixing the tracks will some how fix the train.
 
Trump keeps saying, “don’t worry man, I got this… I have ran several businesses and I’ll make this train Great again” then he toots the horn and puts on a stupid red hat and rudely asks if I can scour the train for any unnecessary weight — like minorities and muslims — so I can toss them out the window.
 
Cruz hasn’t fully comprehended the complexity of the problem and thinks if we put the petal to the metal and gun it our train can push right through the treacherous tracks…. Cruz does not understand how trains work.
 
Sanders wants to slow the train down to a stop, get off, build a super expensive rocket-ship and attempt to bypass the problem altogether. He also somehow managed to find the time to pack a bag lunch for every single American that included a personalized, hand-written note that is both loving and affirming.
 
Carson started to say something, but i got bored and accepted train wreck death over waiting for him to finish his thought.
 
Kasich spent hours discussing how he fixed all the trains in Ohio: he fixed them by taking money from poor people and then gave it to rich people, who sold him overpriced duct tape that he used to cobble together a MacGyver solution in exchange for campaign financing. He used the remaining funds to buy 5 million red hats that said “Make The Train Good Again” — which are now available on eBay for 5 cents on the dollar.
Now go ahead and make the most informed decision!
Advertisements

Make America Fascist Again

A few months back I came up with the idea to create a Donald Trump parody website that frames Donald Trump as a matter-of-fact fascist who is trying to usher back-in an era of World War 2 style fascist totalitarianism.  And, here ya go:  www.MakeAmericaFascistAgain.com. Continue reading “Make America Fascist Again”

GOP Debate: Reductio ad Absurdum

I watched the GOP primary debate on youtube (so I can pause and rewind) and took extensive notes, with the goal of examining the quality of the debate (rather than the content itself).   The following is a short summary of my notes:

There were 146 total response to questions.
Of the 146 responses they actually answered the question proposed 45 times and of those 45 answers, 29 of them were to stupid questions.

Within their responses they managed to change topics 47 times and 7 of of those were to bash Obama, 2 were to bash Clinton and the record holder for topic changing is Bush with 6 times in 30 seconds.

They contradicted themselves within one sentence 7 times.

7 ad hominem, 3 emotional appeals and 5 times somebody managed to speak for 30 seconds without saying a word.

4 heartwarming stories about their family life.

3 people advocated war, 2 advocated diplomacy and twice they implied that electing a democrat was akin to the end of the world.

Trump said he would solve problems with friendliness — twice.

One person managed to implicitly criticize themselves within their own response.

Trump refuted a claim about his weak knowledge of international affairs by arguing that international affairs is a topic that nobody actually knows….I mean seriously, all those crazy Arab names? Nobody actually knows that shit. Right?

Only once was the ‘liar, liar, pants on fire’ argument used. Ok, this may have happened more than once.

Rand Paul was ONLY candidate to actually change a topic back to original question…but only once. Although Fiorina and Christie both made statements similar to ‘let’s get this back on topic’ but actually just changed to a completely new topic instead.

However, it was not a total disaster….here are the good parts:

There were a total of 7 well thought out responses (Paul 4, Bush, Walker & Huckabee)…..

And Jeb Bush used to smoke pot……

————

And the winner is……<drum roll>……SCOTT WALKER!!!

Why? Because he spoke the least (8 min. 29 seconds total).