Making Floods Great Again

Today, 8/22/16, the Trump Campaign for Greatness posted a press release stating that the Trump organization DID indeed donate a “truckload” of supplies and $100k to the Louisiana Flood Relief Fund. Despite what the socialist media outlets have been saying, Trump has donated greatness — he even packed the truck and personally pre-played with all the play-doh to confirm absolute greatness!!  In response to asking why the campaign can’t produce evidence that these donations were made, the Trump Campaign said “Trump’s finances are none of our business” and that “twitter statements are self-evident to any claim to greatness”.   Additionally, Trump allowed the Great people of the state of Louisiana the opportunity to have Trump visit their “heartbreaking devastation” and bring them a taste of what Greatness looks like.  Trump will help make Louisiana Great Again!

In a continued and further gesture of greatness the Trump campaign has officially made a large charitable donation worth over 65 million dollars to the state of Louisiana!   The Trump organization has generously generated vouches for 10% off 18 holes of golf with purchase of a full price round for all of Trump’s less popular Golf Resorts on weekdays during non-peak season for all 4,650,000 residents of the state of Louisiana!!   A 65 million dollar donation that will also generate almost 1.3 billion in economic impact — that means JOBS JOBS JOBS!

In a brief press conference regarding his recent acts of presidential philanthropy Trump said that he “loves floods” because they help clear the land for “amazing real estate development” and that he personally went to the most devastating parts of LA to assess the damage and was able to make “great deals” and bought up property for “pennies on the dollar”.   Trump was asked by the press if he would build a “great golf course” in his newly acquired property and he said “Louisiana is a horrible state for golf” and instead he will develop residential property and sell it back to the people for an “amazing discounted price of 5% below market value”.

The Trump Campaign refused to confirm/deny any of the aforementioned statements.

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