Chronicles of a Food Snob (episode 1)

Patrick: I would like a super burrito with no meat and no tortilla.

Taqueria lady: we can’t do that because we have nothing to put it in.

P: you don’t have a box or bowl?

TL: no

P: what do you put nachos in?

TL: a nacho box

P: can a burrito go in the nacho box?

TL: yes. I can burrito in a box.

P: a burrito without the tortilla?

TL: no, we can’t do that. But you can order all the burrito stuff as side orders.

P: will you put it all in one box?

TL: no we don’t have a box for that

P: can you put all the side orders together in a nacho box?

TL: oh I don’t know. Hold on. (asks for manager approval) yes we can do that. But you can never do it again!!!

P: great. Next I would like carnitas nachos without chips.

TL: no chips? We can’t do that.

P: really? I’m only asking that you skip a step.

TL: (asks manager) sorry, we can’t do that.

P: oh come on, I’m super hungry. 😦

TL: (she has a shockingly long conversation with manager in Spanish). ok, just this once, but you can never (waves finger) order this again.

P: great. Thank you. (I pay, cash only, leave tip).

(Tortilla’less burrito is served in 5 individual tiny cups and nachos were perfect and delicious).